As a caregiver for my mother for more than 20 years, I have a deep-rooted understanding of the intersection of caregiving and mental health. During Mental Health Awareness Month, I am reminded of the realities, the challenges, and the hope that caring for a loved one presents and the impact – visible and unseen – that it has on my own life and the lives of so many. 

Since the early 1970s, my mother has battled an aggressive form of multiple sclerosis (MS) — a relentless disease that changed the course of both of our lives. I became her full-time caregiver in 1996 after graduating from college; she was adjusting to using a cane at that time before losing full mobility in 2004. While deeply rewarding and a responsibility I would never give up, caregiving is challenging and can take a toll on any caregiver’s mental and physical health. 

In particular, the intersection of navigating acute pain and caregiving is especially challenging. When your loved one lives with MS or another chronic disease, they often manage episodes of acute pain. For caregivers, every day can feel like a balancing act: managing medications, monitoring symptoms, and offering comfort, all while navigating the emotional fatigue and despair that pain can bring. This, compounded by my mother’s reluctance to take prescription opioids, causes anxiety, depression, and moments of loneliness — not just for my mother, but for me too. 

As a caregiver, I’ve learned that pain is never just physical. It seeps into conversations, life plans, and even into quiet moments. For my mom, whose pain is often undertreated due to a lack of non-opioid treatment options, this burden is especially profound, leaving us both feeling helpless at times. Recently, my mother slipped out of her wheelchair and fell, leaving her in severe pain. When I brought her to the ER, the only available pain treatment was an opioid, but my mom did not want to resort to opioids to manage her pain due to a family connection to addiction. In the end, she refused to fill the prescription, resulting in sustained pain and a longer recovery time. This was a mentally difficult experience for both of us. 

I know that I’m not alone in this feeling. Research shows that 40-70% of caregivers have depressive symptoms while up to half meet criteria for major depression. For those battling undertreated pain and other symptoms, the link to mood disorders can become a cyclical loop that is hard to break. In fact, depression and anxiety increase the perception of pain severity, and prolonged acute pain can lead to increased feelings of depression and anxiety. 

Despite the challenges, caregiving has brought unexpected gifts. I’ve learned new skills that enhance the mind and body connection and found meaning in being present for someone I love. I find peace when journaling, coloring, knitting, and meditating. These practices require me to be still and present and sometimes are the only mindful moments in my day. 

I also found my community and sense of belonging at Caregiver Action Network (CAN), an organization that has been a lifeline in supporting my mom and I, serving as another reminder that we are not alone.  

This year’s Mental Health Awareness Month theme is “In Every Story, There’s Strength.” Every mental health journey is unique, but the strength within our stories is universal. Whether you’re a caregiver or not, we can all relate to, and better understand, the connection between our physical and mental health. By sharing my story, I hope I can help others with similar experiences feel seen and know you’re not alone.  

In May and every month, CAN’s FAM Network is here to help, offering resources, information, and a sense of community to return to when times get tough. Together, we can find strength and empowerment. 

Learn more and get involved.